You want to be your true authentic self. You fight to be true to you every second of every day, and to those that tell you not to – well, pardon my French, but f**k them. Right?
Okay, sure. I get you. I’ve been there over and over again myself. And yeah, it can feel good to tell someone off like you are some King Kong yourself standing your ground banging your chest. But, after the rise, what is the fall? What do you suffer? Did it really help you?
So when it comes to telling off people you don’t know intimately here are some questions I’d try asking yourself first. When you’ve asked these questions take a step back and re-evaluate them later before deciding to take it to that person.
1. What do I achieve from saying this? What do I tangibly get by saying something to them versus going within myself and dealing with what the turmoil is?
2. How well do I know this person and how they might respond? How could the spectrum of possible responses effect me?
3. Who is this person to me? Beyond human nature, is there a reason their response or validation is important to me? Why am I putting so much of my energy on this interchange?
4. Why did this happen? What did it spark in me and why might it have sparked that in me? Might I be reading into the situation?
5. How might I feel about the situation if I focused my energy on something else for just a few hours?
6. Has this happened before? Many times? With other people? Other relative strangers? What happened in those situations? What was the outcome?
If you answer these questions and come to the decision to say something then the next set of questions would be: if I’m going to say it, how am I going to say it? How can I hedge my bets to achieve results versus damage?
If you’ve been in this situation before, let me know. I’d love to hear how you handled it and what your outcome was.
We are conditioned from the very beginning. The thing about conditioning is that we don’t know it is happening when it’s happening. Sometimes it’s not until years later that we realize our conditioning and start to ask, “what is really me?”
We have the possibility of breaking that conditioning, and it is up to us to do so. Here are a couple thoughts of how we can challenge our conditioning and get more in touch with our true selves:
1. Allow yourself to be surprised.
Talk to someone you normally wouldn’t. Do something outside your routine. By making changes from your normal path you will be questioning the narrative that has become locked and you might become surprised by the outcome.
2. Ask the big questions
Don’t remain satisfied in complacency. Strive for greater truth, question the beliefs you have established. When you are in the midst of a habit, ask yourself, “why do I always do this? What else might I do if I didn’t do this?”
3. Go off the grid
By removing yourselves from the influences that infiltrate your daily life you can become more in tune with yourself and who you are in your natural state. Even a couple weeks of the grid can provide great insight.
Hope these tips help. I know you can break some old habits and discover more of your true self.
Forge on and prosper.
I know so much and yet I know absolutely nothing. I am completely lost.
Sometimes I feel atop of the world and other times like all the steps I took to get to where I wanted led to nowhere.
So, which is true? What if I said both.
I think in order to accept whatever state you are in you have to accept it as the truth of where you are at. You have to allow yourself to sink into it. You have to allow yourself to not be ashamed of it. And you have to recognize it is a part of you.
Where you are at this moment is the truth, but where you are at the next moment is also the truth. Both are the truth and both can be opposite. Both make up you. Both can be held and encompassed by the confines of your structure, your nature.
“Truth” and “reality” are not singularly definable things. The ultimate “truth” and “reality” is a conglomeration of truths and realities.
Maybe with this outlook and the acceptance it it won’t be as difficult to take in moments that appear especially difficult, because we can recognize they are just a part of us.