You want to be your true authentic self. You fight to be true to you every second of every day, and to those that tell you not to – well, pardon my French, but f**k them. Right?
Okay, sure. I get you. I’ve been there over and over again myself. And yeah, it can feel good to tell someone off like you are some King Kong yourself standing your ground banging your chest. But, after the rise, what is the fall? What do you suffer? Did it really help you?
So when it comes to telling off people you don’t know intimately here are some questions I’d try asking yourself first. When you’ve asked these questions take a step back and re-evaluate them later before deciding to take it to that person.
1. What do I achieve from saying this? What do I tangibly get by saying something to them versus going within myself and dealing with what the turmoil is?
2. How well do I know this person and how they might respond? How could the spectrum of possible responses effect me?
3. Who is this person to me? Beyond human nature, is there a reason their response or validation is important to me? Why am I putting so much of my energy on this interchange?
4. Why did this happen? What did it spark in me and why might it have sparked that in me? Might I be reading into the situation?
5. How might I feel about the situation if I focused my energy on something else for just a few hours?
6. Has this happened before? Many times? With other people? Other relative strangers? What happened in those situations? What was the outcome?
If you answer these questions and come to the decision to say something then the next set of questions would be: if I’m going to say it, how am I going to say it? How can I hedge my bets to achieve results versus damage?
If you’ve been in this situation before, let me know. I’d love to hear how you handled it and what your outcome was.
You thought the fear was gone, you thought you were in a good place, but then a situation rears it’s face and you begin to question the steps you thought you made.
Try to remember:
1. Progress is like the stock market
It goes up and down from day to day, but in the long run it has a continuous upward trend. Give things your best shot, and you can be certain that if you look back on your starting point, you will be in a more pleasant place than where you started.
2. We don’t have a map
We can’t be certain of our destination. Sometimes we may think we have reached our destination, only to realize it was just a detour. Be open to self discovery, don’t judge yourself. Be patient and loving with yourself on your map-less journeys.
3. Acknowledge your feelings
Sadness, anger, fear: a part of human experience and life. If we can’t accept these, how can we fully acknowledge and experience joy and love. To fully understand the meaning of something we have to compare it to its antithesis. What would day be without night, the weekend without the weekday.
Keep things in perspective. Glance back to these motivation tips when you’re having a difficult day and journey on.
We are conditioned from the very beginning. The thing about conditioning is that we don’t know it is happening when it’s happening. Sometimes it’s not until years later that we realize our conditioning and start to ask, “what is really me?”
We have the possibility of breaking that conditioning, and it is up to us to do so. Here are a couple thoughts of how we can challenge our conditioning and get more in touch with our true selves:
1. Allow yourself to be surprised.
Talk to someone you normally wouldn’t. Do something outside your routine. By making changes from your normal path you will be questioning the narrative that has become locked and you might become surprised by the outcome.
2. Ask the big questions
Don’t remain satisfied in complacency. Strive for greater truth, question the beliefs you have established. When you are in the midst of a habit, ask yourself, “why do I always do this? What else might I do if I didn’t do this?”
3. Go off the grid
By removing yourselves from the influences that infiltrate your daily life you can become more in tune with yourself and who you are in your natural state. Even a couple weeks of the grid can provide great insight.
Hope these tips help. I know you can break some old habits and discover more of your true self.
Forge on and prosper.
No one ever wants to work hour after hour at a job they are not loving, but sometimes we have no choice. I am one of those people who works at a paying job so that I can pursue what I actually want to do and still pay my bills. I work a money job. I know there are many many of us out there. And from my time working this job I realize some of us navigate it better than others.
From personal experience and from watching others who have much more experience in this arena, here are some necessary tips:
1. Just say “yes” over little things.
It’s not worth your time and energy to fight for what may be right. Besides you will most often lose if it’s your voice against someone higher up. I am not saying to be silent on the actual things that matter, but make the differentiation and save yourself the energy.
2. Don’t misconstrue management as your peer.
If you can establish a good relationship with them, great. However, remember they can crack the whip on you at any minute and you may be surprised by how nasty that is. Management may put up a nice friendly front, but remember to distinguish that they are your boss. Keep a healthy distance, don’t blur the boundaries. It will make things easier for you and save you time and energy.
3. Don’t do more or less than you need to do.
This tip is especially pressing if this is your “money job”. Save yourself time and energy by doing exactly what the job requires of you. If you do less than it requires will create problems and these problems will deplete of your energy. If you do more than you need to you will also be more depleted than you needed to be.
4. Remember your primary purpose.
If you stay in touch with why you are working this job and how it will help you to reach your ultimate goal, your time there will be less painful. When the going gets tough or you feel especially annoyed at work, try a couple deep breaths while imagining your ultimate goal.
Hope these tips help. They have definitely helped put things in perspective for myself and forge onwards.
The long paper trail of worries, doubts, and insecurities follows you.
Let’s try to let go of it. It’s not helping you. It’s lying beneath the surface, penetrating all of your decisions. Its oozing out whether you want it to or not. So let’s try some things that can help us let go of it once and for all.
Try these five steps:
- It comes up ➡️ Talk about it.
- Try feeling it. What is the sensation?
- Try letting it in more. What’s happening?
- Try embracing it, whatever it is.
- Reflect on the path of the sensation.
Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat.
Every time emotional turmoil threatens your well being, don’t flee or fight it. Follow this five step process. Trust that the more you follow it the more you will get in touch with yourself, every time relinquishing a little weight off of your shoulders and getting to know yourself a little more.
The more weight off your shoulders, the more you will be able to move freely within your own life, making healthy and mindful choices. The more weight off your shoulders, the more you will be open to what there is available right in front of you and what you can build upon.
And as always, if you have thoughts #letstalkaboutit