You thought the fear was gone, you thought you were in a good place, but then a situation rears it’s face and you begin to question the steps you thought you made.
Try to remember:
1. Progress is like the stock market
It goes up and down from day to day, but in the long run it has a continuous upward trend. Give things your best shot, and you can be certain that if you look back on your starting point, you will be in a more pleasant place than where you started.
2. We don’t have a map
We can’t be certain of our destination. Sometimes we may think we have reached our destination, only to realize it was just a detour. Be open to self discovery, don’t judge yourself. Be patient and loving with yourself on your map-less journeys.
3. Acknowledge your feelings
Sadness, anger, fear: a part of human experience and life. If we can’t accept these, how can we fully acknowledge and experience joy and love. To fully understand the meaning of something we have to compare it to its antithesis. What would day be without night, the weekend without the weekday.
Keep things in perspective. Glance back to these motivation tips when you’re having a difficult day and journey on.
I know so much and yet I know absolutely nothing. I am completely lost.
Sometimes I feel atop of the world and other times like all the steps I took to get to where I wanted led to nowhere.
So, which is true? What if I said both.
I think in order to accept whatever state you are in you have to accept it as the truth of where you are at. You have to allow yourself to sink into it. You have to allow yourself to not be ashamed of it. And you have to recognize it is a part of you.
Where you are at this moment is the truth, but where you are at the next moment is also the truth. Both are the truth and both can be opposite. Both make up you. Both can be held and encompassed by the confines of your structure, your nature.
“Truth” and “reality” are not singularly definable things. The ultimate “truth” and “reality” is a conglomeration of truths and realities.
Maybe with this outlook and the acceptance it it won’t be as difficult to take in moments that appear especially difficult, because we can recognize they are just a part of us.
When I leave something in the rearview mirror I like to leave it there. But sometimes it just doesn’t stay there, you know? No matter how much you are like “NO”, It’s like “hahaha YESS”.
So in order to ensure your rearview mirror is in prime condition here are my thoughts for better first dates and avoiding disastrous outcomes:
- Realize the circumstances. There is no obligation embedded in first dates. So, if you are not sure you want to do something, don’t do it. That includes anything from another drink to a nightcap.
- Favor the “no” response. If there is a question of whether or not you want to do something on a first date, the best option is probably just to say no. If sparks fly there is always the second date.
- Don’t compromise yourself. You be you. You be true. You be bold. At no time should anyone compromise themselves, but be especially weary of doing so on a first date when you might be most accustomed to shapeshifting to “make yourself look good”.
- Ask questions. On a first date it is easy to make assumptions about the other person. Ask questions instead of mind reading. If you are really listening to the other person’s responses, you will likely be surprised by what you hear.
- Be open to differences. Coming into a date with a preconceived notion of what someone should think or how someone should feel on specific issues will abruptly prevent the opportunity to connect. Instead of being adverse to differences, just try to be curious about them.
- You come first. You do not need to tolerate inappropriate behavior. If you are not being treated with respect, you have not only the power to leave, but also the responsibility to yourself to do so.
If I had followed these tips I think I would have saved myself a lot of time and unnecessarily spent energy. I hope you find so too!
Forge on and prosper. Thanks for reading. #letstalkaboutit