21st Century Love Needs Help, Please.

Love is something we all want but that so many of us don’t know how to give or receive.

I’m one of those people.

And I don’t know, maybe it’s just my perception of the world around me, but why are so many of us twenty-somethings so messed up?

We care about everything external. Our media emphasizes it, our social feeds demand it. We care about what others can give us. What their status is. What their financial standings are.

None of that has anything to do with love and yet we still obsess over it.

Why?

It might be fun when your ahead, but none of us will stay ahead. You see, in this game there will always be something better, there will always be the next best thing.

We need to start over, reprogram ourselves. Away from capitalism. Away from the toxicity of the media, of comparison.

Because Gen-Xers become Gen-Zers and then who knows what nexters. We become something we can’t recognize, and we don’t recognize that we can’t recognize that which we’ve become. We become cyborgs, and that which is not human around us exploits our worst human tendencies.

I picture life a hundred years ago differently, yet our worst human tendencies still existed. Yet they existed without the potential around every corner to be exploited. Everywhere we go now we are driven further and further into comparison of exterior forms with an unequal comparison towards our interior values.

Our emphasis on our inner life and inner selves needs to be revitalized in a way that is not in the natural fabric of our media savvy 21st century brains. Please.

#letstalkaboutit

6 Quick Tips for Better First Dates

When I leave something in the rearview mirror I like to leave it there. But sometimes it just doesn’t stay there, you know? No matter how much you are like “NO”, It’s like “hahaha YESS”.

So in order to ensure your rearview mirror is in prime condition here are my thoughts for better first dates and avoiding disastrous outcomes:

  1. Realize the circumstances. There is no obligation embedded in first dates. So, if you are not sure you want to do something, don’t do it. That includes anything from another drink to a nightcap.
  2. Favor the “no” response. If there is a question of whether or not you want to do something on a first date, the best option is probably just to say no. If sparks fly there is always the second date.
  3. Don’t compromise yourself. You be you. You be true. You be bold. At no time should anyone compromise themselves, but be especially weary of doing so on a first date when you might be most accustomed to shapeshifting to “make yourself look good”.
  4. Ask questions. On a first date it is easy to make assumptions about the other person. Ask questions instead of mind reading. If you are really listening to the other person’s responses, you will likely be surprised by what you hear.
  5. Be open to differences. Coming into a date with a preconceived notion of what someone should think or how someone should feel on specific issues will abruptly prevent the opportunity to connect. Instead of being adverse to differences, just try to be curious about them.
  6. You come first. You do not need to tolerate inappropriate behavior. If you are not being treated with respect, you have not only the power to leave, but also the responsibility to yourself to do so.

If I had followed these tips I think I would have saved myself a lot of time and unnecessarily spent energy. I hope you find so too!

Forge on and prosper. Thanks for reading. #letstalkaboutit