You thought the fear was gone, you thought you were in a good place, but then a situation rears it’s face and you begin to question the steps you thought you made.
Try to remember:
1. Progress is like the stock market
It goes up and down from day to day, but in the long run it has a continuous upward trend. Give things your best shot, and you can be certain that if you look back on your starting point, you will be in a more pleasant place than where you started.
2. We don’t have a map
We can’t be certain of our destination. Sometimes we may think we have reached our destination, only to realize it was just a detour. Be open to self discovery, don’t judge yourself. Be patient and loving with yourself on your map-less journeys.
3. Acknowledge your feelings
Sadness, anger, fear: a part of human experience and life. If we can’t accept these, how can we fully acknowledge and experience joy and love. To fully understand the meaning of something we have to compare it to its antithesis. What would day be without night, the weekend without the weekday.
Keep things in perspective. Glance back to these motivation tips when you’re having a difficult day and journey on.
Have you gone on a social media bender and regretted it? Have you been on dating apps for hours and abandoned your sense of self worth?
You are worth more than that. Your time is worth more than that.
Here’s what you need to do:
1. Set clear boundaries for yourself.
2. Create actionable goals.
- Cap the amount of time you spend online by setting a timer.
- Designate a specific number of times a day you can be on particular platforms.
Set daily, weekly, and monthly goals pertaining to your use of the internet. Check up on your progress of reaching these goals along the way.
3. Establish positive grounding habits
Over time you will have more power and stability by creating positive habits for yourself.
- Experiment with new ways to ground yourself: meditation, yoga, tai chi, maybe a call home.
- Repeat this grounding habit especially when it is most difficult to repeat.
We have been taught to find our “tribe” or our “clique” since we can remember – in elementary school through high school to present day. We choose to exist within these tribes because they give us structure. They help to define who we are, our points of view.
Often we make these tribes smaller and smaller, so that we may be able to more clearly define ourselves. The limited confines of these tribes shut out the outside world and we begun viewing those not in our tribe as different.
I’m not saying being a part of a tribe is all bad, but I think the cons outweigh the pros. Let’s take a look at some pros and cons of tribes as we know them today:
Pros: we find safe spaces, we connect with similar stories, we find validation.
Cons: we limit the potentiality of our humanity, we cut off the capacity to hear others and gain greater compassion’s and understanding, we limit ourselves from finding compromises within society at large.
In a time where leaders leverage their power and have difficulty finding common ground and compromising on critical matters it is important that we don’t separate ourselves further and further into separate factions, but that we try to understand each other. That we try to see “humanity” as the real tribe and not ten thousand separate tribes within humanity.
We are conditioned from the very beginning. The thing about conditioning is that we don’t know it is happening when it’s happening. Sometimes it’s not until years later that we realize our conditioning and start to ask, “what is really me?”
We have the possibility of breaking that conditioning, and it is up to us to do so. Here are a couple thoughts of how we can challenge our conditioning and get more in touch with our true selves:
1. Allow yourself to be surprised.
Talk to someone you normally wouldn’t. Do something outside your routine. By making changes from your normal path you will be questioning the narrative that has become locked and you might become surprised by the outcome.
2. Ask the big questions
Don’t remain satisfied in complacency. Strive for greater truth, question the beliefs you have established. When you are in the midst of a habit, ask yourself, “why do I always do this? What else might I do if I didn’t do this?”
3. Go off the grid
By removing yourselves from the influences that infiltrate your daily life you can become more in tune with yourself and who you are in your natural state. Even a couple weeks of the grid can provide great insight.
Hope these tips help. I know you can break some old habits and discover more of your true self.
Forge on and prosper.
Love is something we all want but that so many of us don’t know how to give or receive.
I’m one of those people.
And I don’t know, maybe it’s just my perception of the world around me, but why are so many of us twenty-somethings so messed up?
We care about everything external. Our media emphasizes it, our social feeds demand it. We care about what others can give us. What their status is. What their financial standings are.
None of that has anything to do with love and yet we still obsess over it.
It might be fun when your ahead, but none of us will stay ahead. You see, in this game there will always be something better, there will always be the next best thing.
We need to start over, reprogram ourselves. Away from capitalism. Away from the toxicity of the media, of comparison.
Because Gen-Xers become Gen-Zers and then who knows what nexters. We become something we can’t recognize, and we don’t recognize that we can’t recognize that which we’ve become. We become cyborgs, and that which is not human around us exploits our worst human tendencies.
I picture life a hundred years ago differently, yet our worst human tendencies still existed. Yet they existed without the potential around every corner to be exploited. Everywhere we go now we are driven further and further into comparison of exterior forms with an unequal comparison towards our interior values.
Our emphasis on our inner life and inner selves needs to be revitalized in a way that is not in the natural fabric of our media savvy 21st century brains. Please.
No one ever wants to work hour after hour at a job they are not loving, but sometimes we have no choice. I am one of those people who works at a paying job so that I can pursue what I actually want to do and still pay my bills. I work a money job. I know there are many many of us out there. And from my time working this job I realize some of us navigate it better than others.
From personal experience and from watching others who have much more experience in this arena, here are some necessary tips:
1. Just say “yes” over little things.
It’s not worth your time and energy to fight for what may be right. Besides you will most often lose if it’s your voice against someone higher up. I am not saying to be silent on the actual things that matter, but make the differentiation and save yourself the energy.
2. Don’t misconstrue management as your peer.
If you can establish a good relationship with them, great. However, remember they can crack the whip on you at any minute and you may be surprised by how nasty that is. Management may put up a nice friendly front, but remember to distinguish that they are your boss. Keep a healthy distance, don’t blur the boundaries. It will make things easier for you and save you time and energy.
3. Don’t do more or less than you need to do.
This tip is especially pressing if this is your “money job”. Save yourself time and energy by doing exactly what the job requires of you. If you do less than it requires will create problems and these problems will deplete of your energy. If you do more than you need to you will also be more depleted than you needed to be.
4. Remember your primary purpose.
If you stay in touch with why you are working this job and how it will help you to reach your ultimate goal, your time there will be less painful. When the going gets tough or you feel especially annoyed at work, try a couple deep breaths while imagining your ultimate goal.
Hope these tips help. They have definitely helped put things in perspective for myself and forge onwards.
I know so much and yet I know absolutely nothing. I am completely lost.
Sometimes I feel atop of the world and other times like all the steps I took to get to where I wanted led to nowhere.
So, which is true? What if I said both.
I think in order to accept whatever state you are in you have to accept it as the truth of where you are at. You have to allow yourself to sink into it. You have to allow yourself to not be ashamed of it. And you have to recognize it is a part of you.
Where you are at this moment is the truth, but where you are at the next moment is also the truth. Both are the truth and both can be opposite. Both make up you. Both can be held and encompassed by the confines of your structure, your nature.
“Truth” and “reality” are not singularly definable things. The ultimate “truth” and “reality” is a conglomeration of truths and realities.
Maybe with this outlook and the acceptance it it won’t be as difficult to take in moments that appear especially difficult, because we can recognize they are just a part of us.