This is a disaster, right? Yes, right. But also, stop. We have an opportunity here to rise from a disaster to create a new norm.
We can rebuild from this in a way we didn’t now we were needing to rebuild. We can look inside ourselves and learn what we didn’t know we were needing to learn. We can arise out of this in a glorious way we didn’t know we were needing to rise.
We can spend our time in valuable ways that will bring new meaning to our lives after we exit this. We can:
- Reflect. Take account of our life, of our relationships, of the state of the world, of who we are and how we are and why we are. Evaluate our purpose and how we feel, re-ground in our body and in our intentions.
- Create New Habits. Take on habits that can create meaning in the here and now for us, but that can also be implemented in our life when we get out of this. For example, we can to a brief five minute meditation everyday or invest in learning an applicable skill that will help us and also perhaps help others. We can learn how to cook healthy dishes or hone that home workout routine.
- Heal Wounds. Time heals wounds, but wisdom can assist that healing. We can take this time to learn about our self healing journey through accessible books, courses and podcasts online. We can use this time to seek help and to be truthful with where our well-being is at, where we would like it to be and what we can do to get there.
- Research the Possible. What have you been missing in your life that you have told yourself you can’t have? What have you become passive to and what have you blamed that state of passivity on? Now is the time to invest in new opportunities and research how you can go about achieving what you want. Do a deep dive on the internet or talk to people you wouldn’t have otherwise talked to. Now is the time to research the possible.
- Pursue New Starts. In the pause we can use excess time on our hands to pursue that which we have put on hold again and again and again. Or, we can use our research to pursue an option we didn’t know was available. This time can spring opportunities that we didn’t even know we had the option to pursue.
This list can be complemented by your own exploration. If we use this time in a meaningful way we can rise out of this disaster stronger, smarter and more resilient.
Please drop me a line with any of your own inventive solutions during this time. How are you investing in yourself and your future? ￼
Stay safe and prosper.
You want to be your true authentic self. You fight to be true to you every second of every day, and to those that tell you not to – well, pardon my French, but f**k them. Right?
Okay, sure. I get you. I’ve been there over and over again myself. And yeah, it can feel good to tell someone off like you are some King Kong yourself standing your ground banging your chest. But, after the rise, what is the fall? What do you suffer? Did it really help you?
So when it comes to telling off people you don’t know intimately here are some questions I’d try asking yourself first. When you’ve asked these questions take a step back and re-evaluate them later before deciding to take it to that person.
1. What do I achieve from saying this? What do I tangibly get by saying something to them versus going within myself and dealing with what the turmoil is?
2. How well do I know this person and how they might respond? How could the spectrum of possible responses effect me?
3. Who is this person to me? Beyond human nature, is there a reason their response or validation is important to me? Why am I putting so much of my energy on this interchange?
4. Why did this happen? What did it spark in me and why might it have sparked that in me? Might I be reading into the situation?
5. How might I feel about the situation if I focused my energy on something else for just a few hours?
6. Has this happened before? Many times? With other people? Other relative strangers? What happened in those situations? What was the outcome?
If you answer these questions and come to the decision to say something then the next set of questions would be: if I’m going to say it, how am I going to say it? How can I hedge my bets to achieve results versus damage?
If you’ve been in this situation before, let me know. I’d love to hear how you handled it and what your outcome was.
Tips to Let Go and Move On
Letting go and moving on are not easy things to do. We have to create new habits that will allow us to move on, while also being honest and compassionate with ourselves. Habits take form though actions repeated over time, to create habits we must be focused and committed. Creating meaningful habits that grant you compassion can make all the difference in moving on. Here are three habits to cultivate when you are working to let go and move on.
1. Don’t Judge Your Past Failures
Judging your past failures excessively will keep you in those past failures. You can become so close to them and prevent yourself from taking a step back and recognizing the continuum of time. It is never too late to take a step back, reassess, and decide to make an actionable change. When you find yourself thinking about past shortcomings take a moment to realize what’s happening and take a step back from judging past failures.
2. Realize the Power of Every Choice
To the best of your ability stay present with your actions and realize that every choice you make will lead to a result. Make sure your actions are aligned with your values. If you would want to show someone else compassion, are you showing yourself that same compassion? If you are starting to waver on self-care through one choice, how might that build to another and another choice? One decision is a part of leading to the direction of all others, so try your best to stay present and take accountability for all of your choices.
3. Be Honest With Your Heart
Why have you chosen to move forward? Come into contact with your heart. Don’t bully it. Listen to it. Be truthful with whatever is there. If there is nothing there that is information too. Again, don’t bully your heart. Show yourself compassion. Getting in touch with why you have chosen what you have will help you reattach to your purpose and ground you in your actions.
These are three tools I’ve found helpful when faced with the task of moving on. Most importantly all three tips ask you to show yourself self-compassion. This is absolutely vital and something I personally leave out of the equation way too often. I hope these tips will help you the next time you are trying to move on from something of meaning to you.
If you have any thoughts or suggestions I’d love to hear via replying below. Thanks for reading and take good care of yourselves.
You thought the fear was gone, you thought you were in a good place, but then a situation rears it’s face and you begin to question the steps you thought you made.
Try to remember:
1. Progress is like the stock market
It goes up and down from day to day, but in the long run it has a continuous upward trend. Give things your best shot, and you can be certain that if you look back on your starting point, you will be in a more pleasant place than where you started.
2. We don’t have a map
We can’t be certain of our destination. Sometimes we may think we have reached our destination, only to realize it was just a detour. Be open to self discovery, don’t judge yourself. Be patient and loving with yourself on your map-less journeys.
3. Acknowledge your feelings
Sadness, anger, fear: a part of human experience and life. If we can’t accept these, how can we fully acknowledge and experience joy and love. To fully understand the meaning of something we have to compare it to its antithesis. What would day be without night, the weekend without the weekday.
Keep things in perspective. Glance back to these motivation tips when you’re having a difficult day and journey on.
Have you gone on a social media bender and regretted it? Have you been on dating apps for hours and abandoned your sense of self worth?
You are worth more than that. Your time is worth more than that.
Here’s what you need to do:
1. Set clear boundaries for yourself.
2. Create actionable goals.
- Cap the amount of time you spend online by setting a timer.
- Designate a specific number of times a day you can be on particular platforms.
Set daily, weekly, and monthly goals pertaining to your use of the internet. Check up on your progress of reaching these goals along the way.
3. Establish positive grounding habits
Over time you will have more power and stability by creating positive habits for yourself.
- Experiment with new ways to ground yourself: meditation, yoga, tai chi, maybe a call home.
- Repeat this grounding habit especially when it is most difficult to repeat.
We have been taught to find our “tribe” or our “clique” since we can remember – in elementary school through high school to present day. We choose to exist within these tribes because they give us structure. They help to define who we are, our points of view.
Often we make these tribes smaller and smaller, so that we may be able to more clearly define ourselves. The limited confines of these tribes shut out the outside world and we begun viewing those not in our tribe as different.
I’m not saying being a part of a tribe is all bad, but I think the cons outweigh the pros. Let’s take a look at some pros and cons of tribes as we know them today:
Pros: we find safe spaces, we connect with similar stories, we find validation.
Cons: we limit the potentiality of our humanity, we cut off the capacity to hear others and gain greater compassion’s and understanding, we limit ourselves from finding compromises within society at large.
In a time where leaders leverage their power and have difficulty finding common ground and compromising on critical matters it is important that we don’t separate ourselves further and further into separate factions, but that we try to understand each other. That we try to see “humanity” as the real tribe and not ten thousand separate tribes within humanity.
We are conditioned from the very beginning. The thing about conditioning is that we don’t know it is happening when it’s happening. Sometimes it’s not until years later that we realize our conditioning and start to ask, “what is really me?”
We have the possibility of breaking that conditioning, and it is up to us to do so. Here are a couple thoughts of how we can challenge our conditioning and get more in touch with our true selves:
1. Allow yourself to be surprised.
Talk to someone you normally wouldn’t. Do something outside your routine. By making changes from your normal path you will be questioning the narrative that has become locked and you might become surprised by the outcome.
2. Ask the big questions
Don’t remain satisfied in complacency. Strive for greater truth, question the beliefs you have established. When you are in the midst of a habit, ask yourself, “why do I always do this? What else might I do if I didn’t do this?”
3. Go off the grid
By removing yourselves from the influences that infiltrate your daily life you can become more in tune with yourself and who you are in your natural state. Even a couple weeks of the grid can provide great insight.
Hope these tips help. I know you can break some old habits and discover more of your true self.
Forge on and prosper.